My finger scans the summer bucket list that has been hanging on our refrigerator for the last few months. I locate what needs to be checked off: Lemonade Stand. 

Today, our kids sat at a folding table covered in a blue plastic tablecloth at the end of our driveway. On the front of the table hung Luca’s hand written sign and on top of the table sat their toy cash register from the play room and a large jug of freshly mixed Country Time Lemonade. It was one of those rare sunny and seventy-five degree days. 

Our families come by and in addition to buying little plastic cups of lemonade, generously “tip” our kids. 

“Thanks for your business!” Luca yells as he aggressively pushes the “open” button on the cash register. 

“This is going to be one of those core memories they look back on when they think about summer,” my mom says to me in between sips of lemonade. 

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The truth is, last summer was not our best. A tornado hit our little town and a good portion of the summer was spent dealing with insurance companies and construction crews. We had a newborn and tons of rain. Food allergy treatment for our oldest and occupational therapy for our baby. Outings with the family were hard and we were sleep deprived and overwhelmed with parenting 3 children 4 and under.

If I thought summer was tough… the winter was absolutely brutal. The illnesses, ER visits, and hospital bills were relentless, and when influenza A spread through our house the week of spring break (because of course it did), we made a summer bucket list. In between dispensing Tamiflu and Tylenol to our three children, we daydreamed about all the fun things we would do over the summer. 

I wanted to make up for last summer, and after months of health issues, we also just really needed something good to look forward to.

We added classic summer things like swimming and s’mores. I added a few things we’d done before and loved, and some new ideas I knew the kids would enjoy. Luca was invested in the project and after I patiently spelled each word out for him, he wrote it all himself.

Despite the coughing and fevers that turned into ear infections that week, it was almost impossible not to smile at our summer bucket list hanging on the refrigerator.

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Our kids are so young that sometimes I find myself wondering what details from their childhood they will remember. 

Will they remember the night we stayed up late to go to a drive-in movie, and the dozens of giant mosquito bites we left with?

What about the time we took a road trip to watch daddy race his go-kart, only to make it just in time to see the race before we were chased out by a storm?

Will they remember the splash pads and water balloon fights with their cousins? The day we let our butterflies go after raising them from teeny tiny caterpillars? 

How about the day we picked berries in the blazing sun? Or the day we picked fresh lavender and miraculously left without getting stung by one of the many bees buzzing around? 

Will they remember conquering the monkey bars on the playground and learning how to ride a bike?  

When they look back on their summers, will they remember the library trips, the park playdates, the bike rides, and that time we let them stay up way past their bedtime to play with sparklers and watch the fireworks?

What, out of all the amazing memories we made this summer, will be the core memories they take with them as they grow older?

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I have tried to cram as many fun things into this summer as humanly possible. Not only to make up for the challenging year our family has had. But because this is also the last summer before Luca starts kindergarten. In a way, this summer has felt like the most important one yet. It’s my last ditch effort to make memories with Luca and with our family, before everything changes. 

But I can hear the cicadas loud and clear now: I’m running out of time. 

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The little boy that I have spent almost every single day with since the day he was born, the one that made me a mom, will soon start kindergarten and it feels like the unofficial end of “the little years.” I’m trying desperately to hold onto this summer as tightly as I want to hold onto him. But ready or not (not), our family will soon say goodbye to this chapter, and hello to a whole new chapter. One filled with homework and ball games, teacher conferences and new friends. It is equal parts exciting, terrifying, and heartbreaking.

So for now, we will pack these last summer days full of popsicles on the patio, staying up later and sleeping in. I’ll do my best to indulge every request to visit a playground. Because very soon, our family will be living in a different season.

This summer, I hope, was filled with core memories for my kids. I know it was for me.